Time Passages...

One song got me going... it led to another. It started with the new Trish Yearwood, "Georgia Rain." A heartbreaking ballad.

Then thinking about writing here I moved to "Time Passages." A funny aside. I always that that raspy voice was Rod Stewart. It's AL Stewart.

Time Passages

It was late in December, the sky turned to snow
All 'round the day was going down slow
Night, like a river, beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind go drifting into

 Time passages
 Years go falling in the fading light
 Time passages
 Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Well, I'm not the kind to live in the past
The years run too short and the days too fast
The things you lean on are things that don't last
Well it's just now and then my line gets cast into these

 Time passages
 There's something back there that you left behind
 Time passages
 Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don't know why you should feel that there's something to learn
It's just a game that you play

Well, the picture is changing, now you're part of a crowd
They're laughing at something, the music's loud
A girl comes toward you you once used to know
You reach out your hand, but you're all alone in those

 Time passages
 I know you're in there, you're just out of sight
 Time passages
 Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

A divorce after a long marriage is like that. For years I did a mental calculus. The pain of the present, whatever pain it was, was bearable. We had a shared future together. We'd look back on this together and the pain would have been bearable, because we came through together. Because we found happier times.

When divorce is necessary (and I know that sometimes it is), that equation is broken. Suddenly all the balance is left unbalanced. It takes a while, a long while, before a new mental set is built.

I loved her. And sometimes it wells up and hits me. There were good days, or at least better days... I say it that way because now I hardly know what the past was.

But there were better days. Days of hope. Days of shared dreams, shared jokes, shared life.

Her steady barrage of emails about what a cretin I am hurt more than she knows. Or maybe she does know. There's a love "velcro" that makes what she says stick.

In divorce, when love comes unhinged, there's a lot of feelings hidden in there that are prone to sudden appearance. "Georgia Rain" did it to me today.

D